亲密治疗

在huffingtonpost上看到的，觉得有用就转了。
懒得翻译了，只写几点印象深刻的：

CCG没有爱上Mark。（我觉得这一点很重要，电影的设置因为这一点而比现实生活逊色很多，当然我们都能理解为什么要这样编剧本）

曾经有过200多名surrogate，现在只有50名。（经济不景气，需求萎缩啊）

CCG因乳腺癌于2006年切除单侧乳房，她今年（2013）已经68岁，仍然战斗在工作第一线。（这才是为革命事业奋斗终生）

下面是原文：
One of my favorite movies of the year is The Sessions, based on the true story of sex surrogate Cheryl Cohen Greene and her work with Berkeley-based poet and journalist Mark O'Brien, who was confined to an iron lung after contracting polio at age 6. The story is riveting, and comprises the first chapter of Cheryl's memoir, An Intimate Life: Sex, Love, and My Journey as a Surrogate Partner.

For forty years, Cheryl has worked in a career that has helped so many people, yet is greatly misunderstood. Here's what she had to say about her life as a sex surrogate:

Lois Alter Mark: I absolutely loved The Sessions, and thought it was such a beautiful and important story that can really open people's minds. How accurate is the movie and what message do you hope viewers will come away with after seeing it?

Cheryl Cohen Greene: Overall, I'm pleased with the level of accuracy in the movie. Of course, there are some things that the film couldn't show because of time limitations, but they really gave an accurate depiction of my work with Mark. The part about Mark and I falling in love was an exception. I would say we fell in like and we shared some very intense, loving moments. We stayed friends for years.

I hope people will come away understanding how important sexuality is for everyone, including people with disabilities. They have the same needs and desires as those of us who don't live with a physical disability. Additionally, I hope people will have a better sense of who surrogate partners are and the services we provide. We offer people the education and experience that can help them move forward in their lives from a more secure, more knowledgeable place.

LAM: Helen Hunt gives a beautiful performance that has deservedly been nominated for an Academy Award. How did it feel to watch her portray you? Did she have any specific questions before she started? What kind of advice did you give her?

CCG: It was incredible! Helen observed me very closely. She herself has said that I'm a louder person than she is, but I really felt she got my energy into her portrayal. She asked a lot about how I work with people and the range of clients I have. We discussed my work with Mark and how I encouraged him to give me feedback. Once, I read the script to her in my own voice so she could get my Boston accent. She also invited me to her home and I demonstrated sensual touch, an exercise I do with clients, on her partner -- fully clothed. Much of what you see with Helen and John in the movie comes directly from my work with Mark. I did bring a mirror to our sessions so Mark could see himself, and I did touch him in much the same way Helen did.

LAM: Because the movie focuses on just one of your clients, I found it fascinating to read your memoir afterwards. You have lived a very rich life, in a world most people have no idea even exists!

CCG: Thank you. I agree! I've been very fortunate.

LAM: It seems that the biggest misconception about surrogates is that they're no different than prostitutes. The movie and your book clearly show how off-base that perception is. I love that you say you're more like Julia Child than Xavier Hollander, and you compare seeing a surrogate to going to culinary school. Can you explain that a little?

CCG: Well, if you go to a prostitute it's like going to a restaurant. You choose what you want for the menu, you eat and hopefully have a good meal, and then you pay accordingly. If you have a good experience, maybe you'll return or refer friends to them. With a surrogate, it's more like going to culinary school. You learn the recipes, you learn your way around the kitchen, and then you go back to your life equipped with new skills and knowledge. I've yet to find a better metaphor for explaining the difference.

LAM: The world was a very different place when you originally started this career. How did you get into it and what does it take to be good at this job?

CCG: It takes compassion and empathy -- not sympathy, but empathy. It also takes having a very good intuitive sense. Surrogates have a process that we follow, but as the work progressives, it really becomes more individualized and it's important for the surrogate to be able to pick up subtle cues from the client.

I got into because it was meant to be! I had a sexually repressive childhood in which I was taught to believe that sex was dirty and wrong, but also that you were supposed to save it for the one you love. When I was pregnant with my first child, I went into therapy because I wanted my children to have a different and better experience from the one I had. In the process of working on myself, I really had to confront all of the shame and guilt I had about my sexuality. I was eventually able to work through it and free myself of it, even though it was intense. That made me believe that this was possible for others, too, and I wanted to help people not just overcome negative feelings about sexuality, but become more accepting and happy as sexual beings.

LAM: Although sex is all over the place now and it seems like there's a no-holds-barred attitude, the number of surrogates has actually decreased since you started. Why is that? What have been the biggest changes you've seen in our sexual culture over the past 40 years?

CCG: The biggest challenge has always been people's shame and guilt. In the sixties and seventies, people were rejecting that and trying to redefine their attitudes about sex. When AIDS happened, people became understandably scared and surrogates were no exception. A lot of them left the field. Those of us who stayed thought it was frightening too. We made a real effort to understand safer sex and to become condom positive. Most of our clients are low risk because they haven't had a lot of sex, but there was still a certain amount of risk that we faced. We had to have a new dialogue. Before AIDS, we asked if a client wanted to use a condom; now, it's taken as a given that he will, and if he refuses, we won't have intercourse. Surrogates became better sex educators because we had to be much better informed. We were up against something much more serious than syphilis and gonorrhea.

There are only about 50 trained surrogates in the U.S. now. That number was up to around 200 in the seventies. We're trying to find young men and women to come into the field and I hope the movie will spark interest in the profession.

LAM: What's the most difficult part of being a surrogate?

CCG: The most difficult part is probably to not continue to be a surrogate when you're with your partner. We're trained to be highly aware of what the client does and feels. Surrogacy is highly client-centric and the surrogate has to be closely attuned to her client. Sex with a partner is a much more shared experience and you don't want to find yourself becoming a spectator or losing touch with your own body. It took a while for me to learn not to be a surrogate all the time.

LAM: What's the scariest part?

CCG: I don't really find anything scary about my work. People are often surprised to hear that. There have only been very few instances where I felt scared with a client. One I detail in An Intimate Life. The other was with a man who had a lot of unresolved anger at his ex-wife, whom I apparently looked like. All my clients are screened by the referring therapist and it's appropriate for them to be working with me. In truth, surrogacy is, at least initially, probably way scarier for them than it ever is for me.

LAM: You are a breast cancer survivor, and you underwent a mastectomy in 2006. How did that affect your own body image as well as your practice?

CCG: It threw me for a loop at first, but I knew instantly that I didn't want to stop working. I had to learn a new dialogue about my body. I found myself trying to come to grips with the loss of a friend. I loved my breast. I loved the sensation I had in my nipple and it happens that the breast I had removed was the more sensitive of the two. I took a philosophical attitude. I had both breasts at one time in my life, and I enjoyed them, but to be alive was more important.

LAM: How has being a surrogate affected your personal relationships?

CCG: I think I have richer personal relationships because of my work. Who I am and what I do is so different than what others do. I have fabulous friends and a loving husband, and my work has helped me be more empathetic and compassionate with all of them.

LAM: You're 68 years old now and are still working. What's been the most rewarding part of your career? What do you see for the future?

CCG: I'm going to continue my surrogacy practice for as long as I can. I love the idea of having a public platform and being able to do more education. One thing I would absolutely love to do is to serve as a sex educator for parents. How parents address sexuality has a huge impact on kids, and I'd like to make sure it's a positive one. I'd love to help give parents the knowledge and tools they need to raise happy and healthy kids.

马克今年38岁了，还是一个处男。同时他也是一个二流情诗诗人，生活周刊特约记者，和重症小儿麻痹患者。六岁以后马克就只能平躺在依靠呼吸器生活，头侧向固定的一边，白天挂着氧气瓶子推来推去，晚上回到家就进入一个巨大的特肺箱里。听起来是不是很像一个文艺版的霍金，霍金都还能坐起来。

《亲密治疗The Sessions》根据诗人Mark O'Brien的亲身经历改编。在马克接到新的杂志采访任务“残疾人的性生活调查”之后，他也不得不开始思考自己的处男身份。在牧师好友和心理咨询师的鼓励下，马克联系到了一个专业性治疗师莎若。

什么是性治疗师？
老实说去看这样的一部真人真实的独立电影，多少有些猎奇心理。残疾人的性需求问题如何解决，性治疗师和专业性工作者，也就是职业妓女到底能有什么区别？每一位坐在电影院软垫靠椅上的观众一定都会情不自禁的琢磨，这其中的确有种沽名钓誉的可能性。

许多年前荷兰就已经有专门为残疾人士提供性服务的性工作者，英国也有类似的性志愿者，其中有很大一部分是享受专项拨款的职业妓女，算是残疾人的社会福利的一种，由政府买单。《亲密治疗》里给出的答案是，职业妓女要解决的是性的欲望，而性治疗师要解决的有关性的困惑，来自身心或者特殊经历的性障碍。是辅导受众如何正确和自己的性欲相处。除了性治疗师（sex therapist）一词，还可以用性代理人（sex surrogate)，即性障碍治疗的替身，等于又是教练又是陪练。和妓女卖春不同之处还有，这样的性辅导疗程是有次数限制的，总共是六次。他们使用的专业名词是：Body Awareness Exercise, 身体意识觉醒的练习。 第一次，莎若从头发开始抚摸马克，赞美他身体的每一处。第二次，莎若带领马克找到身体的敏感位置。每一次都有一个主题和需要解决的任务。


演技派的新高度
真正以演戏为毕生之事业的人，都是森林里的独行猎手，永远在寻找下一个能证明自己的猎物。
饰演马克的约翰哈克斯今年应该被再次提名奥斯卡最佳男主角。完全靠面部微表情来表演，上一次我们欣赏到这种超难度演技的还是07年的《潜水钟与蝴蝶》吧。有一场戏是马克的第一次性治疗，他躺在门口由助理按下门铃，是另一位好心的残疾女孩愿意出借自己的公寓给马克提供性治疗的场地。在门铃响起到应答的几秒钟之内，有一个大特写，他鼻翼轻轻颤抖，眨眼速度加快，嘴角抽搐，连睫毛和瞳孔都是戏份。相信还在讨论《1942》和《少年派的奇幻漂流》哪组人马饿得比较狠的影迷们，在看了《亲密治疗》里约翰哈克斯的表演之后都可以彻底闭嘴了。那嶙峋的肋骨以及肌肉的萎缩感、僵硬感根本就是瘫痪了三年以上的躯体才会有的，连专业医生都唬的过。虽然约翰哈克斯在接受媒体采访的时候谦逊表示，只是在拍摄前半年控制饮食并在日常锻炼中去除了肌肉训练的部分。一位对待无论大小的每一个角色全力以赴的优秀演员，永远值得脱帽致敬。

像这样这样一部男主角动弹不得的电影，对白又是重中之重。马克许多精彩的对白让我想掏出小本子快快记下，比如他每周去教堂听神的话，“我当然信仰上帝啊，不然我这么凄惨，总要有个谁能让我怪罪吧！” 约翰哈克斯塑造的马克，幽默又磊落，他困惑时困惑，伤情时伤情。对待周围的人善意温和，永远去爱。虽然身有残疾，人格却比我们正常人要完善许多。上帝果真对照自己的形象塑造的马克，在残破的肉身里隐隐向外散发神的光辉，很暖。

性治疗师莎若这个角色的从某种程度上来说也许更难一筹。裸露却不艳情，关怀而不滥情，海伦亨特的演出可以用她曾经拿下奥斯卡影后的那部电影片名来形容：尽善尽美。首先莎若极为专业，每一次疗程都开宗明义，疗程结束后都做笔记和录音，清醒理性的面对患者马克的心理层面的不同反映。她特别坦诚，也许会让有的人意外，莎若有一个圆满的家庭，她的丈夫对自己的职业完全知情。甚至在入睡之前，莎若还会不时和丈夫讨论，我有一个患者是怎样怎样的情况。她有强大的爱的力量。在最后一次治疗时，全身赤裸的她搬了一面大镜子照着马克瘫痪萎缩多年的裸体，一字一句清晰又柔和的说：“马克，这就是你的身体，是上帝为你创造的身体，没有什么是值得羞耻的。” 在救赎别人的同时自我救赎，电影里莎若的镜头每每与圣母像对照。坦白说，用伟大一词形容一个角色有点让我不好意思，但莎若是个伟大的女人，这一点毋庸置疑。

重如泰山，又轻如鸿毛
这样一部电影，探讨的都是生死、人性、信仰、性爱与救赎这些重如泰山的大论题，所以处理的多闷多文艺，多晦涩多独立范儿都不为过，可是导演和编剧本莱文却没有这么做。 好莱坞的影评人还真是客观，“导演本莱文和熠熠发光的各位主演相比，实在不具备那样的天才，可他就有可以让这些天才的演员再发光一万倍的能耐。”窃以为，这也可算做对导演一职的最高评价之一。他创造了一个好剧本，又为每一个角色找到了最对的人选，攻城掠地，加攻加防。

在导演本莱文的诠释下，《亲密治疗》里的每一个人都好可爱。好久没见到威廉梅西刮干净胡子整整洁洁的样子了。他也许是影史上最可爱的神父，他认为性是圣经中最严肃的事情之一，还在听了马克的告解之后开玩笑：“性嘛，上帝参与的最多了，哪怕是不信神的人在高潮时也Oh God叫个没完啊。”在马克第一次性经历之后，这位神父哥们绑着花头巾拎着半打啤酒直接上门来和马克一起庆祝。 除此之外，还有酷酷的亚洲女助理，推着马克淘二手衣服店，在他第一次性治疗之前迅速从包里掏出古龙水对着他咔咔一阵猛喷，企图用香味助阵；墨西哥大叔保姆，鼓励马克去尝试，认为“性被过高评价又是生活必需品”；性治疗师莎若的丈夫，偷偷拆了马克寄来的情诗，第二天又郑重向妻子道歉……甚至是咖啡馆的服务员，把一杯拿铁小心的放在马克的脑袋旁边，调整好吸管的位置，他并没有表现对这位特殊的客人表现出惊讶，只是提醒：“咖啡用吸管喝可能会有点烫，最好再等一下。”
所有人都没有对马克给予额外的同情或关注，他们把他当作一个普通人，一个平等的朋友。这让全片都充满了秋天午后阳光般的金色温柔基调，含情脉脉。电影谈了重如泰山的话题，手法却轻如鸿毛。我们总是赞美以小见大，但是把如此特别的奇情题材拍得细微轻柔、温暖和煦，也许更加难能可贵。

电影结束的时候是马克的葬礼，“有人说生命是半杯水，乐观者觉得半满，悲观者以为半空。可谁也没说水和空气正好是平分杯子的啊”，葬礼上伴随着马克的旁白在笑咪咪的打趣道，“我杯子里的水刚好能淹过杯子底儿吧。可是即便如此，也因为你们的存在，让我获得最大的快乐。”马克的葬礼当然还是他的神父哥们主持的，他生命中曾经爱过的人们全来了，性治疗莎若和她的丈夫也一起来了。大家含泪带笑的坐一起，听完了马克写的一首情诗。
于是，原本嘻嘻哈哈嗑着爆米花坐等瘫痪小子破处的观众们安静了，大家默默的坐在一起看字幕，那气氛倒不是肃穆，而是静谧。这是怎样一部温柔的电影啊，唤起人性中最敞亮的一部分。让我再一次感到，人是荣耀的造物，不该活的如此畏缩。

“我相信上帝有着邪恶的幽默感，非常邪恶的那种。”——马克如是说。

    最近在豆瓣看到过一位姑娘，因病常年在家画画，那些花栩栩如生惟妙惟肖。当她描述自己的故事，那种脑仁中的共振，或许小学语文老师会将其形容为“传神”。朋友说，只有当自己有过同样类似的经历时，对方的故事才能撼动你的心。

    人类总是渺小的。在自以为是的发明和创造中，地球中与人类对立的另外一个世界也在蓬勃发展。地震、瘟疫、灾难。宇宙中若是有神明，神明定是在中立的注视，给与了我们福音也正在给予我们灭亡。
    个人总是渺小的。很多很多的时候，你只能选择呆在困住你的地方。无路可逃，只希望随时间流逝，困境会有改变、境况会有起色。

    但奇特的是，我总是相信人力能够赋予个人超凡的能量，比如那些成百上亿的神奇故事中讲的那样，癌症患者的不治自愈或心灵脆弱的人无疾而终。但有那么一些时候，尽管你将衡量境况的口径缩小到无法再小，你还是无处可逃。

    努力、坚持，并用幽默感嘲笑自己的无能。渐渐的，你会发现一条路，这条路上有你想要的芬芳和清凉，于是开始怀疑“这是真的么？”努力走，尽全力跨出每一步。
    在你正以为事情改变了，你不再是原先那个渺小的自己，一切都在积极有序而愈加明亮的色调中稳步前进——啪——一切都变了，你才发现，其实并不是那么一回事。

    这种优越感的戛然而止可以源自一句嘲讽、一种直白的诚实，更甚至是那么一两件不顺心的小事儿。在戛然而止时，环顾四周，平静而坦然的重新认识自己：愚蠢、自大、骄傲、自满。

    可是然后呢？
    答案只有一个：继续走。因为我们本身是那么的伟大。

这是一部从朋友U盘拷来的电影，初看题目还以为会有些情色低俗的噱头.看完之后，内心异常感动.残疾人肉体上的残疾的确带来了很大的伤害，但是来自社会对于内心的压力造成的心理阴影是更大的阻碍.男主人公的生存状态展现出来的时候，本身就给人以心得震撼，我们心生怜悯，但是怜悯归于怜悯，就像他第一次追求表白的女孩那样，也许有着心灵上的沟通，但是面对一副丑陋脆弱的皮囊，终究退却了。也许我们都应该学会什么是尊重，我们因为怜悯，所以忽略了他们的性需求，他们的诉求远远不是怜悯，需要我们把他们当正常人对待。男主人公与牧师的对话，他努力地去冲破常规想法，给自己的勇气，爆发出的力量，确是常人难以企及的精神高度.就像Motel的老板Confused的那样，一个残疾人和一个女人，他们怎么能进去这么久.....这是因为他们的绽放是那么的有限而非凡.我们应该感动地为他们的勇气鼓掌，女辅导师的灵魂如此干净令人敬畏。也能照出凡人心中的可耻和懦弱.我们每个人都需要一次心的洗礼.

如果不是友人推荐，这部电影开播20分钟后，我可能就选择关闭了。因为已经知道了故事概要，索然无味地看了一个小时。

直到马克的呼吸机出现问题，用于拨打号码的该死的铅笔又在这个时候掉到了地上。马克没想放弃，但是他无能为力。

当时我在想，如果我是躺在呼吸机里的那个马克，此刻我将怎么办。一定是想：”死了算了“。

结果，马克获救了，还因此多了一个亲密友人——苏珊。苏应该算作这部剧的第四女配角。

对于性治疗师”雪儿“，我相信有这样一个职业，她们在一个健康良性的社会里得到应有的尊重，她生养一个漂亮儿子，还有一个了解并支持她工作的丈夫。

只是，她爱上马克这件事儿让我有些无所适从。他们俩的关系好比英国病人里的汉娜和病人的关系。她照料着他，自然而然地了解他，然后就顺理成章地爱上他。

马克葬礼结束后，我也没想明白，这到底是怎么样的”爱“。今早醒来，我想到了一句话，杜拉斯的，大意如下：

爱之于我，不是肌肤之亲，不是一蔬一饭，它是一种不死的欲望，是疲惫生活里的英雄梦想。

无论是对于雪儿还是汉娜，爱就是她们的欲望与梦想吧？

而感受，就像贯穿全片的呼吸声一样，虽然沉重，但生生不息，它维系着生命。